“Who can live like this? Life seems so empty and meaningless. I feel hollow and lost. Where can I find life and hope? Everywhere I look I am reminded of what used to be. Not a day goes by that I don’t ponder this life and love of yesterday.” Jill Kelly

The truth is Brent and I miss Hayden. We miss every small thing about his precious body.  We often wonder are we going to be okay. The truth is life will never be the same. I mean we were given the ability to be the parents to an Earth Angel. We are going to continue to have good days and bad days. The days are not stopping for us as we grieve. We still have to go on with work and daily routines whether it is a good or bad day. This is definitely a bittersweet thing. My heart will never be the same. We will never “get over it.” We will always be missing our number one.

God is not done with Hayden yet. Hayden is just sitting in Jesus’ lap watching Brent and I complete each of his duties. So, I have to remember most children lie and disrespect. Hayden was so PERFECT.  He never lied nor disrespected us. WE ARE BLESSED. Hayden always went along with the flow. WE ARE LUCKY. Hayden was an EARTH ANGEL.  WE WERE TRUSTED BY GOD WITH HIS DELICATE SON. WE ARE PROUD. Now, Hayden is gone. We cry each day. Are we supposed to move forward? Are we supposed to forget of him? NOOOO because God is not done using Hayden.

Brent and I will continue to help families of special needs children. I look forward to getting involved in the Special Olympics. If you know a family with a special needs child, please do not be afraid. They deserve love too! Help these precious families out. These children go through more in a day than many people do in a month. They definitely deserve love and respect. I have heard so many times that people don’t know what to say. Well if you know one of these type people, remind them that a simple text, card, or hello can make the days to families like us. We are normal human beings too. Families with sick/handicap children deserve to feel the love, prayers, and support of others. If you would normally turn your back, take a moment and think of someone to help.  I promise you we all know someone with a handicap family member, illness, autistic child, etc. HELP THEM OUT! Trust me, if you were in these families’ shoes you would understand. They deserve it! Brent and I will continue to raise awareness and money for Palliative Care and Blair Batson. Without each of these wonderful organizations, we would definitely be grey headed. If you need help feeling blessed go visit the hospital. Hunter’s Hope is a foundation for Leukodystrophy’s similar to Hayden. Brent and I cannot wait to help them bring awareness to these horrific diseases. March of Dimes: AWARENESS, AWARENESS, AWARENESS! Little to say these are just a few of the ways Brent and I are continuing Hayden’s legacy. We will continue to believe and have HOPE for Hayden and all the kids in the world.  I am slightly over whelmed with all of the responsibilities that we are taking on but it is all about helping children and families of children like Hayden. Hayden will remind us to “just breathe.” He will remind us by sending signs of dimes and butterfly’s to say well done mommy/daddy. If any of you are interested in getting in on raising awareness or helping kids like Hayden, we look forward to you helping us. We will be doing GIFT CARDS for restaurants near the hospital for Batson for Christmas. We LOVE the families that are so similar to us.

Brent and I are clinging to each other, hope, and faith. God picked us for a reason. We will continue to use this journey as a positive blessing. We will continue to believe in Miracles. After all, Hayden received one. He is pain and seizure free. Hayden’s chubby cheeks and blonde curls are skipping over rocks in Heaven.  Thank you for your faithful prayers.