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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Counting Down

Only ONE more week! The sun is shining bright. The weather is that of a fall day. I can hardly believe it is only one week from Christmas. I must admit that we have experienced every emotion possible throughout the past two years. The holidays are becoming our greatest challenge. Thank God for a mommy that encourages me, cries with me, and checks on me every morning. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be able to cry and vent to her. Lord knows she is probably worn out by the end of each day.
Last year, we enjoyed buying toys, dressing in smocked outfits, and praising God. I had a “clue” that I would only celebrate one Christmas with Hayden. Unfortunately, I did not believe it. I guess “reality” is just now setting in. Brent and I get to place “smiles” on our faces and keep on going. I have always been a “party planner.” I have always enjoyed “gatherings.” Unfortunately, this year it’s a dreadful count down.
We will be using all of our HOPE, FAITH, and LOVE to make it through the holiday season. The holiday season is so much for our family: Christmas, my birthday, New Years, followed by Brent’s Birthday…..
We will continue to fight the fight and “just breathe.”

Hayden is with us each and every day. He is so close to us that all I can do is giggle. I have seen more sunflowers this year than ever before. I have seen more sunny days in the winter than ever. I have seen car tags that say HOPE. We have found an abundance amount of dimes. We were given the ability to share his story with a few hundred people at the University. We were able to donate gifts in his honor for the second year in a row. We are able to celebrate each month still. Instead of celebrating life on Earth, we are celebrating Heavenly months. We are able to smile at the thought of life without seizures.

As I reflect on Hayden’s life, I can only smile. He was a missionary. The stories that I have been told from people across the world are inspirational. The way Hayden encouraged people was amazing. His coo and smile lit up the world. I can only imagine his chatter box in Heaven. I can only HOPE that he is smiling down on Brent and I as we carry his legacy on. I can only pray that he is proud of our actions. We will live our life to please him.