Saturday, August 25, 2012

Funeral Notes for the People that have asked:)

Well, I have been trying to decide in what ways that I would continue our blog. I have decided to continue it in the most powerful and positive ways possible. I know many mothers of Leukodystrophy families follow our blog daily. I hope that when God calls other children home, our blog will give the strength and courage to not be angry with God. I hope it will give them the ability to realize how blessed we are! After all, how many people are blessed with an Earth Angel? I had many friends remind me that last week was the first time I’ve let negativity bother me. I am proud to say that this is part of the grieving process. I am also proud to say that I will no longer allow the devil to get in the way of my HOPE for Hayden. The blessed loving group of friends and family care so much are all that matter. God is giving us so many signs of Hayden. I cannot wait to begin sharing our new journey with each of you!

I have had so many text messages from friends and family that were not able to attend Hayden’s service. We had a song wrote for Hayden. I will try to figure out how to upload it plus the slideshow soon. For today, I am going to share our preacher’s notes from the funeral. Hayden’s funeral was spoke truly from the heart. Brother James Nichols and Guy Burke made it the best and most beautiful ceremony ever. I have heard this over and over.

We began the service with Blessings by Laura Story. Bailey sang it so beautifully. I promise she actually sounded like Laura Story herself.
Hayden’s Aunt Meg, my sister in law spoke a poem without tears about our love for Hayden.

Opening Poem:
You never said you’re leaving
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it
And only God knows why.
A million times I needed you
A million times I cried
If love alone could have saved you
You never would have died
In life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place
That nobody could ever fill.
It broke my heart to lose you
But you didn’t go alone
For part of me went with you
The day God took you home.


Message:
Today is filled with a hundred questions. Some of these questions have obvious answers. Others are mysteries beyond our understanding. Questions like:
-Why do bad things happen to good people?
-Why did God allow Hayden to be born sick?
-Why did God take him to heaven so young?
-Did I do enough to help him while he was alive?
-Did his life impact others as much as it impacted mine?

I may not know the answers to all of these questions, but I can answer the questions regarding Hayden’s impact on others. Lauren, his mother, shared with me that although Hayden never spoke or walked, that he touched lives all over the world. He received words of courage and encouragement from: All 50 states, Canada, United Kingdom, New Zealand, Japan, Russia, Australia, Germany, France, The Philippines, India, Italy, and Zimbabwe

And in addition to these, Hayden had over 75, 000 viewers of his blog. That’s what I call impact! It was this kind of impact that made Hayden a missionary of sorts, whose reach went far beyond his home in Greenville and far beyond the family that loved him so dearly.

And while he could do very little for himself, Hayden actually “did more” in 14 months, than some people do in their whole lifetimes. Did you know that Hayden… was dedicated to the Lord her in FBC. He met celebrities. He received a letter from Laura Story, song writer of the song Blessings which Bailey sang in the service. He experienced over 10 trips to the beach. The beach had a calming effect on him. With his mommy’s help, he did countless arts and crafts. He had a mama and daddy that loved him more than they love their own life.
Hayden was a very lucky and blessed little boy. And today, his blessings continue because today he is not bound by sickness. Today he can hold his head straight. He can walk the streets of gold. He can talk to the Lord. He can laugh and smile.

About that place called Heaven, here’s what the Bible has to say about it:
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away (Revelations 21:4)
So you see, Hayden is alright. In fact, he is better than alright. It’s not he that hurts and suffers and grieves. Those are feelings of a fallen world. A world filled with sickness and pain. A world filled with disappoints, crushed dreams, and dashed hopes.

This is our world. Lauren, Brent, family, this is your world. It’s your life right now.
You guys have spent the past 14 months centering you life around Hayden--- His wants, his needs, his everything. And now that Hayden is gone, what do you do?

After Nathan had gone home, the LORD struck the child that Uriah’s wife had borne to David, and he became ill. David pleaded with God for the child. He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. The elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he refused, and he would not eat any food with them. ON the seventh day the child died. David’s servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they thought, “While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something desperate. David noticed that his servants were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. “Is the child dead?” he asked. “Yes,” they replied. Then David got up from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions, and changed his clothes, he went into the house of the Lord and worshipped. Then he went to his own house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate. His servants asked him. Why are you acting this way? While the child was alive, you fasted and wept, but now that the child is dead, you get up and eat! He answered “While the child was alive, I fasted and wept. I thought who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me and let the child live. But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.”

There are three things this passage teaches us:
1.       When our children are sick, we are to do everything we can for them: Lauren and Brent, you guys did everything possible for Hayden. You gave him more of a life than any of us could have imagined possible. You sought out the best medical care for him. Don’t ever question whether you guys did enough for Hayden. You guys did all you could, and then some, for him!
2.       In the midst of hardship and sorrow, run to the Lord and rest in the Lord: King David fasted and prayed for his child. These are both biblical terms that tell us David was running to the Lord for help and trusting in the Lords plan. I know for a fact that you guys prayed for Hayden. And as you have poured out your hearts to the Lord, he has heard you. I know that these past 14 months have been a time of personal spiritual growth as you’ve run to the Lord for help, comfort, wisdom, strength, and peace. Don’t let this be the end of that growth. Over the next many months, your relationship and trust in the Lord are going to be vitally important. So run the Lord in your sorrow and anger and disappointment.
3.       As horrible and as painful as losing a child is, you have to keep on living: Notice that David didn’t crawl in a hole and hid from the world. Now that Hayden is with the Lord, You guys have to go on living. I’m not saying you have to forget him, because you won’t. You will never forget him. But your life shouldn’t stop because Hayden is gone. Hayden would not want that. And the Lord doesn’t want that. So in the weeks ahead, after the dust has settled and the pain has softened some, it will be time to begin the routine of life again. It will feel strange at first and you’ll even feel a little guilty. But that last thing Hayden would want is for his death to derail your life. Blessings don’t derail our life. Blessings make them better. And Hayden was a blessing to us all. So keep on living… for his sake.

To our friends and family:
We cannot thank each of you enough. You have not just “forgotten” about us in the past 14 months. You have been a part of each of Hayden’s blessings and memories. We are thankful that so many people cared and loved our Earth Angel. We know he has changed our entire group of friends. Hayden loves each of you. The memories are everlasting in our hearts.

To Blair Batson:
Our words would never be enough. To Dr. Boyte’s Palliative care team, you have hearts of gold. You always encouraged us and gave us the hope we needed to keep on going. Jodee, for allowing his death to be calming and peaceful. For leaving your family to stay with us throughout the night. All the nurses of 2c for being a friend, a fighter, a comforter, and a care taker. I respect each of you and your jobs. I know you must have the largest hearts in the world. I thank you for this. To the child life team, we loved the hugs, teddy bears, and the list goes on. To Katy and the Speech team, for helping us learn how to use different feeding methods. Thanks to you, he is in heaven a healthy chubby 30lb baby. To Dr. Davis and neurology, for never giving up hope and for always trying new medicines for our angel. When your jobs get tough, remember you are impacting lives in ways that you could never imagine. I know often parents think that it is the “nurse and doctors” faults that they are destating etc. NO NO NO! Yall are the ones doing everything possible to give our children the best quality of care in the world. I cannot thank you enough for EVERYTHING YOU DID! Miracles happen at Batson because of each of you! We will always support 2c and Palliative care!

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