Friday, August 17, 2012

Peacefully in Heaven

Wow! I started this blog awhile back. I started it to allow each of you to follow our journey. I have loved blogging as it has helped clear my mind. If any of this is misspelled or doesn’t make sense please understand. I knew when I began blogging that one day would be the hardest blog of all. This is going to be by far the blog that I have dreaded. Before I start, On Tuesday, I blogged about to Earth Angels. I blogged about praying for them to receive a miracle in surgery. They did well and we are so blessed that they are continuing to do well. I barely mentioned Hayden in that blog. I was considering us so blessed. Hayden was cooing, smiling, and doing great. We were heading to Destin at two on Wednesday. Life was great!

Our awesome hospice nurses came to check him Wednesday morning. He had an increased heart rate. We decided to go to Gillespie’s office for a quick x-ray before leaving for vacation. No fever, No green secretion just our healthy little earth angel. We received the x-ray results to find that Hayden had a small amount of pneumonia. We said well let’s get him to Blair Batson. They can fix it! They are our heroes. We started by car to Batson. He began DE stating into the 40’s. We pulled into Indianola. They are simply amazing. The doctors and nurses were awesome. They swiftly got the helicopter from UMC. In the meantime, Hayden was down to 2 -4 breaths a minute. We were screaming just breathe Hayden breathe. He would breathe. Wow our fighter loves us! The helicopter got their only one parent could ride. I had a feeling that Brent would not see him alive again at this point. I just felt positive he would die on the ride. I called my friends Lisa and Amy Oakes to meet me at the helipad. I figured I would need consoling as it would happen. Well, the helicopter ride was beautiful. He was breathing 14 breaths a minute. We got to Batson. The x-ray looked better. We began to treat pneumonia. All of our family was there to love Hayden. Jennifer Rutledge (a photographer) happened to be on the hall snapping photos of another family. She snapped some of us. I told her I would call her again when he was well.


The family left around 9:30. By 10:30 we were calling family to turn around. We needed them here with us. Our amazing nurse Jodie came back to the hospital to be with us. Hayden’s oxygen began dropping. Man oh Man he was sleeping peacefully. His hands were wide open. At this moment, it was time to make the decision of an external ventilator (CPAP). We chose it. I could not let him go. I could not stop fighting. I started regretting that decision as I knew Hayden would never walk nor talk. He would continue seizing here on Earth. We told Hayden to go home. Enjoy walking and dancing. Play ball, jump high, and encourage us to keep fighting for kids just like him. I held him as he took the most peaceful last breath. Brent held him as his peaceful heart stopped.

Hayden’s soul went to heaven. He is partying like an angel. I am pretty sure God looked at him and said Well-done son, I am proud of you. Hayden was a missionary that could not walk nor talk. He allowed us to talk for him. We were so blessed to be the parents to a missionary that impacted families in over 20 countries around the world. Life is a blessing. Each day is a memory. Love your family. Cut out the drama. Cut out the hatefulness. You never know what moment will be your last. Trust me it can happen in the blink of an eye. Healthy and Beach bound with his awesome Uncle Todd and Aunt Lauren at noon and within 13 short hours he receive his wings.

Fly high baby boy. Mommy and Daddy are hurting and are now having to remind ourselves to breathe. We are so thankful that you celebrated Aunt Kelli’s birthday a week early. We are so sad that we are going to be celebrating your homecoming on her birthday. It kills my soul. Promise me, you will look after each of us tomorrow. Promise me, you will show us constant signs of your love. I am going to miss being your mommy on Earth. I can promise you, I will always be your mommy and you will always be my number one. You will always be Daddy’s little boy. We Love you to the mom and back and man oh man; we have fun days ahead when we get to heaven!

Funeral Arrangements:
First Baptist Church
Greenville, MS 38701
Visitation 930-11
Funeral 11
Graveside immediately following

Donations in Memory of Hayden:
Blair Batson Palliative Care
C/O Amanda Alliston
2500 N. State Street
Jackson, MS 39216

Want to smile? As Brent and I past Oakes Toyota today, we watched a blue balloon fly off of a car into the skies. Mary Elizabeth Oakes (Ava Grace’s Aunt) and Hayden are now buddies in Heaven. They were letting Ava Grace know that they love her, care for her and are fighting for her miracle.

18 comments:

  1. Its funny how God makes things happen (balloons) during times like this. His way of showing you he is there. He definatly knows how to make people smile!

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  2. Prayers for you have been on the forefront of my heart since Wednesday.

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  3. Thank you for sharing Hayden's spirit with us all. You were the perfect person for this job and God is so proud of you. Hayden had a job to do and boy, did he do it well. Good job, Hayden! I know God's is proud of you, too. Know that this plan was perfectly orchestrated by Him. We will never quite understand it all, but when we see Him in heaven, we will. Know you are loved by many and my arms, as well as, all your family and friends are around you and Brent. I'm a great listener, if you need a one. Much love to you and Brent!

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  4. My heart is being tugged in many directions. I ache, oh how I hurt for you, but I rejoice alongside you also knowing your sweet boy in in the arms of his Father, the only one who loves him more than you. I will continue to lift up your family as you celebrate Hayden's life. Bless you, friend.

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  5. This brought me to tears! In deep prayer for Hayden and your family!

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  6. My prayers and thoughts keep returning to ya'll since I heard of Hayden's homecoming. I am blessed to know ya'll and have one of his nurses. I wish could come to his celebration tomorrow! With love!

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  7. God's thoughts are not our thoughts, nor are His ways our ways. He is always right and on time. Bless you all in this bittersweet time of sorrow and jubilation. Your precious child is in the Arms of love. I love the idea that "he is in the arms of his Father, the only One who loves him more than you".

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  8. As a parent, I know this is gut wrenching for you. You and Brent and Hayden are forever entrenched in our lives. I am so moved by your spirit and deep love for your little one and God. Know that He and Hayden are standing watch over you and loving you always. Many many prayers are being sent for you all.

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  9. Thank you for sharing Hayden with all of us.... He has his own Angel Wings now and is with his heavenly father... I am praying for you and Brent and your family to get through this... With much love, Tammy Manasco

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  10. As I read this I can't help but think about your strength. Losing Hayden on earth is obviously the hardest, but decisions along the way must have been very difficult. Sometimes I don't think we give enough credit to the little things. You and Brent were strong at every turn, and Hayden is blessed to have you as his advocates. God illuminated the path for y'all, but you chose to follow it. You set a wonderful example for the rest of us. Thank you!!

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  11. what a blessing, thank you for sharing your journey with all of us. you and your family are in my prayers. this story is so dear to my heart as having the desire in my heart to be "that nurse" to touch someone's heart along their difficult journey as you have experienced. god is absolutely amazing!

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  12. I loved following along with your posts. I hope you will continue to blog! Lots of positive thoughts your way.
    Matthew 11:28

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  13. Your strength and faith in God shine through in every blog entry; you really are an amazing model for the rest of us. Thank you for sharing Hayden's life with all of us. We continue to pray for peace and comfort for your family. I know that Hayden is with his Father, but I know that his earth family will miss him every minute of every day. As a mother, my heart breaks for you. I do want you to know though, that every time I think of your family and Hayden I am struck by how much you all have strengthened my own belief in God. Hayden was a little missionary.

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  14. We do not know one another, but My sister is married to Chris Walker. My heart aches for the two of you and your families. I know that you have great peace in knowing that your baby is in the arms of Jesus. I am praying for you! God calls us to prayer because He listens.
    "The Lord is close to the broken hearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit"
    liz Landgren

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  15. I don't know you, but I have followed your journey. Many prayers coming your way.

    I think about that old southern hymn ... When we all get to heaven - What a day of rejoicing that will be." It will be and we'll be there soon. Hayden flew from your arms to the arms of Jesus and you will see him soon... and what a day of rejoicing that will be.

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  16. Oh My. . . .I'm speechless. I found your blog today after getting a call that we are headed down this road of ADSL with my 4yo. I had only read and commented on your first entry and then saw this. I am devastated for a family I don't even know. I pray God will wrap you in his arms and hold you tight. I am so very very sorry.

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  17. pLEASE EMAIL ME AT LAUREN122885@HOTMAIL.COM.... ID LOVE TO HELP YOU AND GIVE YOU ALL THE INFORMATION THAT I CAN ABOUT ADSL....

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    1. Lauren, i am friends with your mother and I grew up with Angie, Kelly and Karen. I am blown away by your strength. I am going to continue to pray for all of you. We also dealt with a similar disorder with my husband's sister, Tootie. She was 41 when she passed. Even though she couldn't eat, talk or walk, she still managed to always wear a smile. She lived in a lot of pain while her muscles continued to deteriate, but still had a smile. I use to ask God, "Why does she have to live this way?" And God showed me in a little Vision.... And He said, " LOOK AT ALL THE PEOPLE SHE HAS TOUCHED".... You and Brent have one of God Greatest Gifts, ONE THAT WILL TOUCH MANY PEOPLE!!!Me being one. Don't ever forget GOD LOVES YOU! Tonya

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